


You Know You Got to Help Me Out

by Chash



Series: If You Can Hold On [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 11:11:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12556148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: The sex thing isn't a big deal to Bellamy, which is why he hasn't brought it up. If he brings it up, it feels like it has to be thisthingthat he's worrying about.Which it kind of is, and he definitely is, so he's glad when she mentions it.





	You Know You Got to Help Me Out

**Author's Note:**

> I did want to get into Clarke's sex insecurity in the first fic, but I like where it ended, so here's a timestamp for fooling around, woo!

“So,” says Clarke, once they're pretty much done with dinner. “Sex.”

It’s not really a surprise that she’s bringing it up. Bellamy’s been thinking about it enough that he feels kind of guilty, and of course it would be weighing on Clarke too. He hasn’t actually _asked_ if she’s a virgin, but he can’t imagine she’s not. If she had sexual experience, it would have come up before. She wasn’t even sure she was good at kissing; sex seems out of the question.

It bothers him only in the sense that he likes her, and he’s hoping to have sex with her at some point, which means he felt weird about bringing it up himself. The last thing he wants to do is pressure her, and he hadn’t figured out how to express polite concern about her possibly worrying about her own inexperience without coming across as impatient.

“Sex,” he says, trying not to let his relief show. “That’s a thing.”

Her mouth twitches. “That’s it?”

“You just said sex. I assume you want to talk about us having it, but that’s just a guess. You didn’t give me much to go on.”

“I do. Or I guess I just wanted to check in? About--all of that.”

“I like sex,” he says. “I’d be good having it basically whenever you're ready, but I figure we’re going at your pace. So it’s your call.” He clears his throat. “We can talk about--if there's anything you need to talk about, we can talk.”

She smiles. “How much has this been stressing you out? Scale of one to ten.”

“Like a seven maybe? Shut up,” he adds, preemptively. “I really didn’t want to be—it’s not a big deal, it’s your call, I don’t want you to think I’m—upset.”

“Upset?" she teases.

“You know what I mean.”

“I do. You don’t want to pressure me.”

“No. If you’re thinking you want to have sex, we can. But it’s up to you.”

“I think we should talk through it, maybe? I don’t know.” She sighs. “Part of me feels like I should just get it over with.”

“Definitely not.” She frowns, and he rubs the back of his neck. “If we’re having sex, it’s going to be because we’re both sure and excited about it, okay? It has to be something you want, not just something you feel like you should experience.”

“It’s not like I don’t want it,” she says, but her voice has turned thoughtful. This is a serious talk now. “I don’t know. I wish I’d just done it before, so I wasn’t going to be trying everything out on you for the first time.”

“I don’t mind,” he says. “It’s not like I want you to go find some random person to fuck so you’ll have experience.” He reaches over, takes her hand across the table. “Trust me, fooling around is fun. Even if you’ve had sex before, it’s always going to be different with a new partner.” He pauses. “And it’s not like we’re going to proceed directly to my dick in you, do not pass go, do not collect $200.”

“Yeah, I hear there are bases we can cover,” she teases.

“You seem to like first and second pretty well.”

“I do. It’s not like I don't think I'm going to have fun,” she adds. “I’m pretty sure it’s going to be awesome. But it still feels like a big step.”

“It is a big step. There’s no rush, Clarke. It’s whatever you’re comfortable with, whenever.”

“What if I’m never comfortable?”

That gives him pause. “If that’s a real possibility, it’s something we can talk about. I like sex and I want to have it, but if you don’t—“ He shrugs. “I want to say I’d be totally cool and could get by with just my hand, but I honestly don’t know.”

“I don’t think it's going to happen. I'm just worried, I guess. I like orgasms, I get myself off most nights. But maybe I won’t like having another person involved.”

“I know I’m not telling you anything you don’t know, but you really don’t have to think this hard,” he teases, gentle. “When you’re ready, we’ll try.”

“Can we go make out on the couch and see how it goes?”

He grins. “Let me get the dishes figured out and sure.”

As usual, Clarke helps out with the clean-up, handing him dishes to load in the dishwasher and drying things so he can put them away. It's only been a month of officially dating, but the relationship already feels lived in, comfortable in all the best ways.

He really wants it to last. He thinks it could.

"Maybe skip the couch and go to the bed?" Clarke offers once they're done. 

He can't read her tone, so he says, "Do you want to?" They've made out and cuddled a lot on the couch, but not on his bed so far.

She huffs. "I had a minor breakdown in the family planning section of CVS last week."

"Over condoms?" he hazards.

"Yeah."

"I have condoms."

"Yeah, but I thought I should maybe have some of my own. But I didn't know what kind, and then I thought if I had them I'd feel like we _had_ to have sex, and--it just felt stupid. High school kids manage to buy condoms and get laid."

He puts his arm around her and kisses her hair. "I remember you in high school. You would have had a spreadsheet comparing all your condom options to decide which one to buy."

"And I could have! Because I wouldn't feel like I should already know."

"Okay, let's go hang out on the bed. You can look at my condoms and I'll explain why I like that brand."

"Or we can make out."

"I figured that was the next step." He settles onto the bed and she curls into his arms, an already-familiar pose for the two of them. "I get why having the teenage fumbling out of the way is appealing, teenage fumbling sucks. But it's not just being inexperienced that makes it bad."

"No?"

"What really sucks about being a teenager dating isn't just not knowing what the fuck you're doing. Total lack of communication is the big issue. You don't know what you're doing, but you also don't know what you want, and you're--" He kisses her hair. "It's a lot better when you're willing to admit you don't know what you're doing."

"So you're trying to convince me total lack of experience is a good thing?"

"You're not totally inexperienced." This time, he tips her jaw up to kiss her, and she melts into it. "You're good at that," he murmurs. "And you get yourself off, so you should be able to recognize when you come. And you're comfortable with your boundaries. Everything else, we can figure out." He wets his lips, slides his hand up her side. "Whatever you want."

She pushes his shoulder gently, settling on top of him. It's one of her favorite positions, and it's rapidly becoming one of his favorites too.

"I want you to get me off tonight," she says, voice steady. "Not, like--"

"Third base," he supplies. "I'm pretty sure that's third base. We can do that. But if you change your mind--"

She leans down to kiss him again, deep and hot. "I'll tell you. But right now, I'm sure. I want to do this, and I want to do this with you. So--let's see how it goes."

"Cool." He tugs on her shirt. "I'm good with seeing how it goes."

To his surprise, Clarke hesitates, and then rolls off him. "Just get naked, okay? That's where we're going, I just want to start there. If your dick is too intimidating, I'll find out soon."

"How intimidating is too intimidating?" he asks, pulling off his shirt and kicking off his jeans and boxers. "What are you expecting here?"

"Wow," she says, which isn't really an answer. But her eyes are roving over him, focusing on his dick and then straying up his chest and legs, like she wants to memorize every inch.

"So?" he prompts. "Still good?"

She pulls her eyes up to his face, smiling a little sheepishly. "You're really hot."

"I try, yeah. Your turn? Or am I the only one getting naked here?"

"Will you jerk off for me?" she asks, apparently not even hearing him.

"You want me to?"

Her fingers trail up his his chest, like she's trying it out. "Yeah. I figure you're good at it, you can show me how you like it."

"Sure." He leans over and kisses her, mouth gentle. "But I still want you to get naked first. I'm not really ready yet."

"You look ready," she says, but she pulls back, getting out of her own clothes, and Bellamy feels his own mouth go dry.

"You look _gorgeous_ ," he says, pushing her back onto the mattress. "Fuck, Clarke."

"Not fucking. Just--"

"Hey, don't shortchange masturbation. It counts."

"Then I'm not a virgin, good to know. Not that virginity--" She nips his bottom lip. "I'm not going to go off on a rant about how virginity is a social construct when we could be hooking up."

"Why not? I'm into that." He kisses down her throat. "Tell me more about getting yourself off. What do you like? Toys?"

"Yeah. Most nights just a vibrator, nothing fancy." Her fingers curl in his hair. "It probably won't come as a surprise that I go for efficiency most of the time."

"Efficiency?" he asks, letting his mouth slide lower, to her collarbone. 

"I want to get off as quickly as possible and then go to sleep."

He laughs. "Yeah, you're right, that doesn't surprise me at all. What about the other nights?"

"Fuck myself with a rabbit vibrator until my legs stop working."

He grinds down on her thigh reflexively, and she arches into it before he can apologize. So he settles for, "Jesus, that's hot. How long does that take?"

"Depends on the night."

"You should show me that sometime. If we're going to watch each other getting off."

"Are we?"

"Why not? It sounds fun." He slides back up to kiss her again. "Still feeling good?"

" _Good_ is an understatement." She rubs herself deliberately against his thigh. "Sex seems awesome so far."

"I'm a fan, yeah. Anything you've been wanting to try out?"

"All my fantasies are basically about you now. So--whatever you want to do. You're the expert."

"Not on what you like. But I've got some ideas, yeah."

"And I still want to see you jerk off."

He presses a soft kiss to her lips. "I remember, yeah. I want to take care of you first."

"If you're--" Her sentence ends in a gasp as he closes his mouth around her nipple, and her hips jerk again. " _Oh_. Oh fuck."

He'd respond, but he's much happier groping her. He brings his hand up to toy with her other breast, making sure to give them both some attention, and he can feel Clarke getting wetter as she arches up, rubbing against his thigh like she's hoping to come just from that.

It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, but he does want to get his hands on her. If she feels this good on his leg, he really needs to know what she feels like against his fingers.

So when her breaths start coming shallower and the push of her hips gets faster, he pushes her down, slides his hand from her breast to between her legs. "Can I--"

"Please," she says, pulling him back up for a desperate kiss.

He doesn't go right to her clit, dips his fingers inside her first, getting them slick. He thinks he might come just from how fucking good she feels, from the sound she makes, and he changes his mind about her clit and slides his fingers deeper instead, curling them up until Clarke is begging and desperate.

She comes hard, gasping and arching, and he lets his fingers still without taking them out of her.

Once she's regained her breath, he kisses her shoulder. "Good?"

"Fuck," she says, laughing. "Wow. I knew I liked your hands, but--"

He starts stroking inside her again, gently, testing her reaction, and when she moans, he nips her neck.

"Sorry, I'm going to want to get you off a lot."

"Not sure why you'd apologize for-- _fuck_ ," she gasps, and that's all the encouragement he needs to keep going.

She pushes him onto his back after her next orgasm, but it takes her a minute to recover enough to prop herself up and look at him. "Wow."

"Like that okay?" he asks.

"We're going to do that a lot more."

"As much as you want. You still want me to jerk off?"

She worries her lip. "Could I try it?"

"Yeah, absolutely. It's not that hard. Don't say it," he adds, when she smirks.

"You set me up." She curls into his side. "I need lube, right? I was reading about it online."

He kisses her hair. "Of course you were. Yeah, lube helps. I'll get some for you. It really is pretty easy. You'll get the hang of it fast."

"I always thought girls would be easier," she admits. "We have the same parts, I should know how it works, right?"

"You'd have to figure it out no matter what. Everyone's different. But, yeah, obviously I love getting girls off." He offers the lube. "Here."

"Just put it on?"

"Yeah, just get your hand kind of slick. You want things to move, uh, smoothly."

"Okay." She lets out a breath and puts a generous amount of lube on her fingers, making a face at the feel of it. "Okay," she says again. "If I'm bad at this, you can do it yourself, right?"

"Definitely." He wraps his arm around her, tugging her closer. "It's fine, Clarke. It's going to feel good no matter what. Getting off isn't everything."

"You say that _now_ ," she grumbles, but then her fingers are wrapping around his dick, curious and experimental, and he groans.

"A little tighter, but not much. Firm and--fuck, yeah. Just like that."

"And I just--tug?"

He laughs, letting his eyes slide shut. "Be gentle, see how it feels, but I promise, just you touching me is awesome."

"At least you're easy to please."

"Sex feels good. It's why we survive as a species."

Clarke leans in to kiss him. "If you're still saying stuff like that, I'm not doing it right."

"You're--" She flicks her thumb across the head of his dick and he groans.

She smirks. "See? Much better. I want you to feel so good you can't think about anything except me."

"Yeah, I think you're going to get there. Just keep doing that and I'm going to--"

She leans in to kiss his jaw as she keeps working his dick, and he figures if she doesn't want him thinking coherently, he doesn't have to try. He was on the edge already, hot and hard from getting Clarke off, and it doesn't take long for her to get him there, not when she's so alert for every intake of breath, so eager to find what he likes and to do it.

He comes with a curse, and nearly comes again when Clarke leans in to delicately lick a bit off jizz off his softening dick.

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"A little bit. But I wanted to see what it tasted like too."

"It's not my favorite flavor, but it's fine. Fuck," he adds. "You're amazing."

"I didn't do anything that special, did I?"

"I didn't mean just because of the sex." He pulls her in for a kiss. "You're amazing in general."

"Thanks. Not to be totally unromantic, but I feel like I should clean off my hand."

He laughs. "Kleenex okay, or do you want to go to the bathroom?"

"You're the expert."

"Try the Kleenex first and see how you feel." He passes her the box, trying not to feel too nervous as she cleans up. "Are you going to--do you want to stay the night?"

She studies him for a second and then laughs, leaning down to kiss him. "Of course I do. I always want to stay."

"You always should," he says. "Feeling better about the sex thing?"

"I know I want to do it a lot more. Does that count?"

"Works for me, yeah. I'm here for you."

"You are." She pokes him. "You can tell me what you want too, you know. It's _our_ sex life, not my sex life."

"And that was exactly what I wanted." He yawns. "But if you want to fool around in the morning, we can."

She laughs. "So generous."

"That's me. Always giving."

"You are though." He feels her nose against his jaw. "Really, thanks."

"Honestly," he tells her, smiling, "it's was pleasure."


End file.
